I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
