I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize