My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
