she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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