I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
