Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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