Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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