Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
