planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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