I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize