ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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