What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
