Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
