All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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