i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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