I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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