yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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