My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize