The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
