Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
