So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
