You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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