He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We are two peas in an std pod
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
