somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Don't make out with my wife yet
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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