I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
