If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
