its not stalking. its research.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
