Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
