Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
