I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
