physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
