weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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