Where is the hickey?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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