Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I have aggressive nipples.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
