So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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