Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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