dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
