that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
