STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
