Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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