I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
