Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
