So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
