3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
