no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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