YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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