i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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