if i can run in heels then i can drive
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
