Where is the hickey?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
