No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
