Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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