life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
