Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
