Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
