And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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