great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
