??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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