he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
