the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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