i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
