I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
