Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
