he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
