I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
