just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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