he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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