it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
