Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
