I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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