Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Randomize