Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im holly from the hills drunk
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
And then he peed in my hair
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
