Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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