she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
