What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
