i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
